PROTECT THE PAINT

Update: due to a reader misconstruing the real meaning of this post, we updated the picture to clarify things so even a kindergartner can understand.

Disclaimer: All images, likenesses, are done for fun, and are not to be taken literally, and are in no shape form or fashion meant to be insulting to any belief, religion, or anything in between.

Stephen Jackson of the Golden State Warriors cannot keep his mouth shut.

Apparently he needed to rekindle the media dumpster fire between him and Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakersby threatening him indirectly with  the following  comments:

“I’m going to be me, but I guarantee I won’t feed into the nonsense,” Jackson said Monday. “If it came down to a real fight, I know what would happen. I’m just going to leave that alone, go out and play basketball and try to help my team win.”

Lets take a look at this realistically.

We already disproved Jackson’s claim that he was in fact Kobe’s equal on the court.  Does anyone realistically believe he could beat Kobe Bryant in a fight without firearms?

The tale of the tape has Kobe weighing in two pounds heavier than Jackson, but giving up 2 inches in height.

If Jackson is promising to be mellow tonight, he must be planning to brawl Bryant using Taosim as his weapon of choice:

Stephen Jackson will need to channel a higher power to be as good as Kobe.

Taoist propriety and ethics emphasize the Three Jewels of the Tao: compassion, moderation, and humility.

It would take a miracle, perhaps one by Saint Kobe Bryant, for Jackson  to actually bend his will and behavior to fit into that mold.

Good luck tonight Stephen Jackson, you are the Warriors (of Taoism) are going to need it.

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